Back Again
When I originally started this blog, my intention was to only record my summer fellowship experience. However, I’ve been back for two weeks now and still feel a strong need to reflect and dialog about my relationship with the Dominican Republic.
Today I met with my friend, Kayla, at Starbuck’s to talk over some Esperanza business and catch up in general. It was nice to share our struggles returning back to America from the D.R. and have someone understand the feeling of loneliness and loss that no one else could possibly understand unless they had experienced serving the D.R. themselves.
Something that is really scaring me is that already I am experiencing some sort of burnout or distance from my ambition and calling to serve in the D.R.. I’ve been procrastinating on working on Engage and letting excuses and distractions stand in my way from pushing forward. My biggest distraction is money both personally and professionally. Currently, I am struggling to find employment and my bank account is down to a dangerous level with both major repairs on my car and computer looming over my head. I’m already leaning on my parents more than I should as is and I really want to be independent of them financially. Professionally, I’m letting the recession serve as a reason to put things on hold with Engage even though I have identified so many new, exciting, and worthy projects to take on.
Despite situations that are out of my control like the recession, I realize that there are still many things in my life that I can control and that I need to take responsibility for the direction of my life. I’m hoping that I will be able to regain focus and start fresh next week after my boyfriend, Michael, leaves back to Japan to finish up his program.
Let all of us recognize our excuses, take responsibility, work hard, and move forward.
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